who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize