guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
