Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
