Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
