so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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