the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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