Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
