happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
