She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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