even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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