I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
