I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
