everyone is single if you try hard enough
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
