I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
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