I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize