she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
