your thong is hanging out like whoa
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
