So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
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I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
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"I licked someones beard, because I can."
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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