Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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