I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
time to smoke my breakfast
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
