Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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