My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
