I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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