so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
