A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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