i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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