...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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