Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
