Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
