This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
