He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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