these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize