She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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