I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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