I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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