Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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