Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
