we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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