i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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