Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
