Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
