did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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