from now on my penis is your penis
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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