Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
