I wish life had little blips of pornography
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
