I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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