She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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