We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
