Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
