turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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