Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
