Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
there is puke in my bra ... again
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