I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
