I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
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Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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