hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
