I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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