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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
