check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
