this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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