I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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