if i can run in heels then i can drive
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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