Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i just google imaged poop.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
