nut hugger
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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