He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
