I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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