Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
